Before you say I do: things to look out for in the choice of a life partner.
Before entering into marriage, before the choice of a life partner and before saying I do, there are certain things to consider and put into consideration for the good and stability of your marriage and family. People should be able to spot warning signs and red flags and potential problems in marriage. This is something to be taken seriously. Attention should be given to every detail and every aspect of the person and marriage. There should be no rush. If you rush into it, you rush out of it. Take your time, do your home work, take note of the things I am going to say and enjoy your marriage.
The first thing to take into consideration is
COMPATIBILITY: Are you both compatible with each other? Are you made for each other? Do you complement each other?. Compatibility is very important in marriage. If you are not compatible with one another, you will find it difficult making a good husband and wife. This is the first question to ask, are we good for each other? Will both of us make a good couple? Are we a perfect match for each other?
UNDERSTANDING: Getting to know each other is very important before you say I do. You cannot afford to marry a stranger or someone you don’t understand. You cannot take the risk of marrying someone you don’t know. Therefore, people involved should take time to know and understand each other. They have to take into consideration their family background, peculiar experiences, uniqueness, family background, culture, religious beliefs, Environment, education and indeed everything that makes them who they are. Openness is necessary here; if you don’t open up and keep pretending, you are doing a disservice to the other person and harming yourself. The earlier you open yourself up for the other person to know and understand you, the better for both of you and your marriage. Hiding who you are is not a good idea. It is very pertinent to get to know each other and understand each other for the marriage to be successful.
HONESTY: If there is one thing to look out for in a life partner before saying I do, it has to be honesty. Without this, there will be no trust and reliability, there will always be doubt and suspicion. Trust has to be built and it can’t be built without honesty. If your intending wife or husband to be is a chronic liar, then you have to be concerned. If possible, reconsider the marriage.
FIDELITY: Before you say I do, look out for a wife or a husband that is faithful, not the ones that flirt and cheat. If your man for example have no self control and runs after everything on skirt and then comes back and apologizes and continues, you may have to question his fidelity and vice versa. Any man or woman that cannot be faithful to their spouse has no respect for them. If you are not ready to be faithful, then do not make the commitment. If you still want to play around, then you are not yet ready for marriage, if you want marriages and To settle down, you have to get your act together.
FAMILY BACKGROUND: This is very necessary. One has to know something about the family they are being married into or the family of the girl they want to marry. You have to ask questions and make inquiries to know the type of family you are going into because it will automatically after marriage be your family too. People’s family background can give you a clue or a tip into the type of person you are about to marry. Also one has to ensure the good name, reputation and integrity of the family they are going into.
HEALTH: Health status of your intending life partner is very important. Both of you should go for tests to make sure you are medically compatible. Both of you have to be open and honest to each other and reveal to each other your health challenges if there is any. If there is any health issues that will affect your having children, it is good to let the other know. Any other health challenges that would put the other at risk should be made known to the other person. If you have a sexually transmitted disease, let your spouse know rather than putting him or her in harm’s way or endangering her health. Any health situation that would genetically affect the children or expose them should be made known to the partner. Nothing should be hidden to avoid bigger and more complex problems in the future.
MEANS OF INCOME: Finances is a big factor in marriage. It is necessary and needed to take care of a lot especially when children start coming. Both people should be willing to be bread winners in the family. They have to work and make at least a decent income to be able to feed, shelter and clothe not only their children but they themselves. Especially for unforeseen expenses like sickness, charity etc. if your husband is the type that is lazy , not willing to work, he will not be a good role model for their kid.
OTHER THINGS: marriage is for men not boys, for women not girls.
Watch out for mental health problems
Someone willing to accept you for who you are especially with your flaws and imperfections.
If you feel threatened or at risk of violence, run.
Marriage is not by force. So there should be no coercion or pressure .
Don’t marry a wrong person because of money or physical appearance. Beauty fades. Be more concerned about the inner beauty, the beauty of the heart.
Don’t settle for a selfish, narcissistic and ego driven person.
Marry who love you not who seems or appear to love you
Marry a responsible and mature person: Marry an adult, not a baby
You many need to reconsider marrying an insecure person
